Relief Foster Parenting

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Relief Foster Parenting

Interested in Joining The Tarbiyyah Horizons Family?

Many families would like to offer their love and support to a foster child without giving up one person’s career or salary, or without a full-time commitment. Relief foster parenting is an excellent option. This is also the process by which homes become full-time within our agency.

The Importance of Relief

Regular relief is provided once every
six weeks.
A relief weekend is usually 48 hours.
Each full-time foster family responds to fostering in their own unique way.
Each family has to deal with the stress of ongoing family life, plus the addition of a child in transition with behavioural and emotional needs and issues.
Relief is a way of regenerating the
entire family.
It also gives the foster child a chance to enjoy another family environment and build additional therapeutic relationships.

The Relief Home Relationship:

Ideally, the relief home is consistent and relief occurs every six weeks on a
continuous basis.
This allows the child a chance to get to know the family, and allows the relief family a chance to accommodate the child.
Relief weekends can be a break from the
full-time home for the child, where he/she may feel the stress of working on issues.
Relief weekends can and should be FUN
and RESTFUL for the child and the relief home family.

Tarbiyyah Horizons feels the relief home is an important part of the foster child’s treatment plan. While preserving the full-time foster home, relief is also a way of giving everyone a chance to get some space and relax ~ very much like an overnight at a favourite aunt or uncle’s home, or a visit to grandma for the weekend. It is a wonderful experience for foster children to develop an extended relationship with their relief home.

It is important, therefore, that the relief home and the foster home communicate clearly and sensitively with one another. Sometimes an element of competition or jealousy enters into the adult relationships – only the child suffers if this goes unchecked. Foster and relief homes work best together when there is an element of trust and respect between them: that is only built through communication.

There are times when children ‘honeymoon’ at a relief home; that is, the relief home may not see a lot of the negative acting out that occurs within the full-time home. While it is tempting to believe that this is due to the expertise of the relief home, most often it is because the child is able to put the ‘emotional’ work to rest for the weekend – thus, less behaviour! It is also seen as a fun weekend to go on ‘overnights’.

Please note that we DO NOT refer to these weekends as ‘relief’ with the children. Also, the driving back and forth is shared between both homes and is not reimbursed.

Here is the process for becoming a Tarbiyyah Horizons foster parent:

Attend, with your partner, a Foster Parent Information Night.
Email Tarbiyyah Horizons within 7 days to indicate your interest in pursuing fostering.
Attend a Tarbiyyah Horizons screening meeting with 3 members of the Tarbiyyah Horizons Leadership Team.
Await approval from Tarbiyyah Horizons to proceed to next steps.
Complete and return the Application Form and all relevant documents.
Meet at least two more times with a Tarbiyyah Horizons Home Assessor in order for your Home Study to be completed.
Home inspection to be completed by a member of the Tarbiyyah Horizons Leadership Team.
Be approved as a Relief Foster Home.
Attend “New Foster Parent” Training @ Tarbiyyah Horizons.

Requirements for Foster Parenting:

We have found that long-term foster parents possess many of the following characteristics:

Flexibility, creativity, patience
Good child management skills/experience with children
Excellent communication with children and adults
Ability to work with professionals and within ‘systems’
Problem solving skills and high frustration tolerance
Crisis management – staying calm
Willingness to accept feedback and make changes.

Requirements

There must be one adult who is the full-time identified primary caregiver. Foster parenting is the only employment for this person and he/she ‘stays home’.
Good physical and mental health is necessary and needs to be verified by an attending physician.
All foster parents are required to have a Standard First Aid course and Non-violent Crisis Intervention which Carpe Diem will provide or assist with.
Attendance is expected at all monthly Resource Meetings.
At least one person in the home must drive and be available to do drives to appointments, meetings, etc.
It is really important that foster parents are able to get along with other adults! Although your work is with children, a lot of what you will do is with other professionals, other foster parents or the natural parents of foster children. We need to trust you to represent Carpe Diem in your ability to get along with others.
Sometimes foster parents are given feedback about their presentation, attitudes or behaviours. This may require personal growth and change. We always work on your strengths too! Self-awareness is critical to fostering.
Report writing skills are important, but can be learned. It is NOT necessary that you have a lot of formal education, but you need to be able to fill out basic reports.
Foster homes and automobiles are smoke free zones.
Organizational skills are essential. You will need to keep track of dates, appointments, receipts and deadlines.